Math, the ultimate drug

In one of my previous blogs I said, while reading a Rucker book on higher dimensions, that no drug could screw up your mind as much as high level mathmatics. I'm still standing by that statement.

One of the things that I'm doing as I read the book, is trying to "see" the descriptions in my head. From a fourth dimensional view of three dimensional space. To a fourth dimensional view of fourth dimensional space. It's a bit disoreinting. Just a few minutes ago I stopped reading and reached over for a smoke. My head swam with different perceptions for a moment as my mind was locked in trying to decipher the descriptions that Rudy was giving me in the book.

The most interesting bit though was last night. I love that period of time just before sleep when your rational mind just shuts off. That's when I experience some of my best... "concepts" so to speak. Not thoughts, not images, just jumbles of input that don't make any real sense, but still feel like some kind of sense. Like how things make sense in dreams, but don't in the real world. But, these things are occuring to me in the real world. If we do filter out the majority of the sensory input we receive, because we are unable to process it. It is these times that I allow these inputs to just wash over me.

Last night was the second time that I remember this happening. I don't remember what I was thinking about but suddenly there was this wash of extra perception that I could only interpret at the time, because of the book, as 4d information. To be honest the information is a little harrowing. It doesn't feel natural and puts me on edge.

In the end though I soon drifted off the sleep. At this point, I don't remember my dreams, but I think they were interesting. And this "4d" information mmight have shown up again. I'll have to run my head throuugh the ringer again before I go to bed tonight and see what happens.

Gotta love math!

Are we losing our way?

Jim O'Connell launches the first salvo:

While these things are certainly fun and give us a way to gauge popularity of sites, does anyone else think that the whole thing might be a bad idea in the long run? What happens when a site on the fringe of popularity starts to 'karma whore' just to gain a better ranking? I'd hate to see blogs go the way of network television, where they are tailoring their entries for some percieved popular ideal, rather than honest thought and personal insight. My site, while not popular or important, is a fair reflection of what I am doing or thinking about or reading, even when I know it won't be interesting or popular with my reader(s). (Lately, I seem to get more hate entries than supportive posts, but it doesn't bother me much.) What I've come to love about weblogs is the honesty - I'd hate to see that become a casualty of the popularity contests.

Each successive iteration of this idea just focuses us more and more on link-whoring and meta-discussions about link-whoring and meta-meta discussions about meta discussions, and it's gotten silly.

When I was in college I got onto a couple of email lists that were discussing a small scene that was starting to come together and would eventually turn into the jamband scene. Since the scene was in it's infancy there was a great mixing pot of people and ideas, as there are with any infant scene. And it was not uncommon to find yourself on lists with bands, promoters, booking agents, label people, etc. Somewhere in that mess I ran into something that I'd never run into before, people who made a point out of reading what I wrote. people I had never met who based their purchases or thoughts, at least partially, on what I said. There's even a chance that a few "industry" people were trying to curry favors from me (let's just say I was getting free shit). It was a crazy time.

Long story short, I got drunk on it all. Went a bit over board, and suddenly realized that i was more concerned with trying to appear cool then just being the happy go lucky geek that I'd been originally. This is when things went down hill. And when the ride stopped, I found myself with some good memories, but having to start all over again. The great reset of life as me.

So where is this all headed? Well, to quote Adam, "I'm done." It's just time to accept that no one will read this site. And go back to the old idea of a place where I can talk to myself and no one thinks I'm nuts.

Care to place bets on how long this will last?

Ben and Mena

Like everyone else posted about it, but it so great. The above chorus is my slogan.

Thanks to Joi for the link.

Tools

NoteTaker isn't available for Windows
iTunes isn't available for Windows
Kung-Log isn't available for Windows
Safari isn't available for Windows
NewNewsWire isn't available for Windows
Fetch isn't available for Windows

The biggest problem I'm running into now is that I'm going to blow my next pay check on software. I've already got two or three trial versions sitting on my machine, and I need to get those paid for with this next pay check. The only complaints I have so far are the video options and the Office layout. The office problem I hope will be resolved by me poking around at settings and figuring things out. But, for the moment the text comes up a bit light in Word which causes me to have to strain to read things. And the delete feature in Excel is annoying. I'm used to being able to just highlight a block of cells, hit delete and it's gone. Instead, it looks like I've got to highlight the section, then pull down the edit menu, slip over into a sub menu, and then hit clear contents. I wouldn't mind having to simply remember a new set of keystrokes, but there doesn't seem to be a keystroke for deleteing a group of text. That's annnoying.

The video side might be fixed in a month or two when I drop down the cash for the full version of quicktime, so I'll hold off on making a full bitch now. But, not being able to go full screen on quicktime is annoying. Esspecially since every other video package out there has a full screen option available for it. Of course I do need to do some more hunting around for video stuff. Download codecs annd that kind of stuff so I can play my fansubs on this machine. That will deffinetly make this laptop a nice buy. Being able to watch a little fansub when I'm visiting my folks or listen to some music. I'm already enjoying being able to carry my ipod around instead of having to lug a big pile of CDs. And my car already looks cleaner, not having jewel cases scattered all around.

So, yeah to Apple. I never thought I'd buy one, but now I'm happy that I did.

Posting from Kung-Log

Will Wright Notes

Will Wright at PC Forum 2003

Notes from Cory Doctorow about Will Wright's talk at PPC Forum. This reminds me why i wanted to get a master's in System Engineering. I love this kind of stuff.

Just thoughts

So, I've been getting used to this new laptop and the Mac OS. On the subject of the laptop itself, I'm enjoying the freedom that I have now. This has become my primary computer period. I'm using it at work and at home. This is nice since it gives me more freedom in what I do and where I do it. In short, I just feel more connected since I'm seeing the same interface no matter where I am. No issues of being at my "work" PC or my "home" PC. Now I'm just using my laptop.

Mac OS X is another little treat. I'm still learning the ins and outs of the OS, but I'm pretty happy with what I see so far. I'd forgotten how much I like the multi window interface. I haven't used it since college when I had access to UNIX workstations running X Windows. The touchpad is a little annoying since it makes getting around the screen a little more involved then it should be, but that's an issue with laptops period. And I think as I become more accustomed to a touch pad and start to learn all the keyboard commands for everything, this will become less of an issue.

In other news, about a week ago I was randomly going through porchparty.com and I came across an interesting profile in the Freaks Down Here section. I emailed the woman in question and got a responce from her earlier this week. One of the things that I found interesting about her responce was the mention of the 4th and 5th dimension and it's interactions with this dimension and our lives. This struck me because it's something I've given a lot of thought to over to last couple of years.

The idea that I've been playing with is that the 3rd dimension that we live in, does not exist in a bubble. Instead it is being acted on by dimensions above and below it. I'm not sure of the exact nature of this interation. I figure there are two possibilitiies.

1) Dimensions exist in different realms, but that actions in one realm can be a factor in actions in the realm. I guess to easiest way to explain this would be to say that a cause in another dimension, while having an effect in that dimension can also have an effect in this dimension. Another way of looking at this would be to apply a new vector to chaos theory. Not only can the butterfly wings in one part of the world have an effect in another part of the world, but it can also have an effect in another dimension.

2) This dimension is only a 3rd dimensional manifestation of a multidimensional world. We are not aware of high dimensions because we are unable to perceive things in the correct manner. Just how A. Square is only able to perceive A. Sphere in 2-d terms in the novel Flatland. Now, there are two sub thoughts that go with this theory.

a) 3-d entities (us) are completly seperate from entities that exist in other dimensions. Meaning that a 3-d entity is completly distinct from a 2-d or 4-d entity.

b) 3-d entities are simply 3-d manifestations of multidimensional entities. We are just unaware of the fact that we are in fact multidimensional beings.

While I'm not sure exactly what theory is correct, I'm currently leaning towards 2.a as the most likely of senarios. The reason for this is because the theory works on many levels.

1) The subject of magick. And yes, that k is in there for a reason. I use that spelling to differentiate stage magic from occult magic. Anyways. The metaphor that I have found most interesting for magick is that it is finding a way to tap into elements outside of this dimension and effect those elements in some way that causes a particular effect in this world.

2) Aliens. I can't remember the name of the person who came up with the theory, but there is a theory that extraterristrial entites are in fact extradimensional. Instead of being from another planet, they are beings from a higher dimension. This makes even more sense if you go with the one universe, multiple dimensions theory. The reason being that these entities can then have two causes/purposes for existing in our dimension.

a) They are exploring lower dimensions, in a similiar maner to Grant Morrison's experiments. The common look to these beings simply being fiction suits that they have constructed.

b) They are in fact a leak between the dimensions. The result of a faulty filter in certain people's subconcious. This would account for the disorenting effect of contact. These people are litterally coming into contact with something they are unable to comprehend.

The other interesting thing about the alien idea is the physics. Much has been made of flying saucers that defy the laws of physics. If these crafts are in fact bleed through from a higher dimension, then this is a step in explaining how these craft can move against the laws of nature. Simply put, they are not goverened by our laws.
The idea is that different dimensions have different sets of rules. What's the purpose of gravity in a dimension that does not have depth? Obviously as you move into higher dimensions new laws will come into play. And those new laws could look to break our laws when applied in our dimension. For instance, the right angle turns that some craft have been reported to make could be caused by a manipulation in time that does now allow us to see the full movement of the craft. Many sceintists theorize that the 4th dimension is time. That these entities will experience time in the same manner that we experience depth. In short, they experience the entirety of time in a moment. Time is not a series of individual points to them, as it is to us.

There's another idea in here about religion and god, but it's just not coming to me right now. I'll have to wait on that for another time. Hope you enjoyed. I've got a feeling that there will be more of this type of writing in the future.

The Switch

I'm writing this entry from my desk at work. What's so special about that? Well, I'm not using the machine that work has provided for me. Instead I'm using an Apple iBook that I ordered last week and arrived today.

Five years ago there was no way I'd switch. I was doing tech support at the time and Apples suck when it comes to doing support. Laptops are even worse. Now though I don't do tech support and so I don't care. Instead, I'm having fun with new gadgets. :)

A time of renewal

Shortly after my first ecstatic experience I felt compelled to reevaluate my belief structure. Not a true crisis of faith, just seperating the things that I felt in my heart from all the stuff that had been tossed on by other people.

By my 22nd birthday (6/17/97), almost two years after my first exstatic experience (8/25/95), I had become fixated on a section of the Gospel of Luke that seemed to connect with something very deep in me. The section reads:

" 27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.
30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.
34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."
(Luke 6:27-38)

In the fall of '97, I had my second exstatic experience. This one was much more spiritual then the first. I was left with the feeling that God had told me that this passage was the key. Following those two rules; love all and judge none, was the heart of what was important.

Further thought lead me to the conclusion that those rules are the heart of most of the world's religions. And with this knowledge I explored what the world had to offer, both spiritually and philosophically.

I'm not sure exactly when I lost my way. But, I know by the time I had recovered from my breakdown, I had lost the love that had guided me.

At first, I thought it was just a shift in my path, from spiritual to intellectual. I had made this jump in the past. Whenever one grew faster then the other. Later, I decided that perhaps my spiritual growth had just been completed and I had gone as far as I had to (talk about arogance). In the last couple of months thought I have realized what I am missing.

In her book Christian Mysticism, East and West; which I am now reading, Maria Jaoudi says the following:

"Mere emotional reactions have the capability to engulf us in their virulence of anger, hatred, and judgemental narrowmindness. Indeed, we often become so attached to our emotional blocks that the reaction itself becomes reality to us."

I doubt the last few years of my life could be summed up better.

Last night I made the decision that it was time to reconnect and repair the damage that I have done. I started reading Christian Mysticism last night. I'm going to try and track down some books on the early Christian church (circa 1st century) and then may be move in to Sufism and Eastern religions.

Contradictions?

Interesting bit from Doc and Dave: World of Ends

The most interesting little bit is number 6:

"Money moves to the suburbs.

There’s good business in providing commodities, but every attempt to add value to the Internet itself must be resisted. To be specific: Those who provide Internet connectivity inevitably will want to provide content and services also because they connectivity itself will be too low-priced. By keeping the two functions separate, we will enable the market to set prices that will maximize access and to maximize content/service innovation."

Um, how is this not in direct contradiction of the free-fi arguement? If connectivity is a commodity and selling commodities is good. Is there a distinction with free-fi that I'm not seeing?

Doc's firstborn

Turns out that Doc's "firstborn" just happens to now be working at my old alma mata, or how ever you spell that, UMBC.

I just might see if I can wonder up for that show. Sounds interesting. Unfortunetly, UMBC is a good 2 hours from here so it might prove a bit much, but I'll make sure to post if I do make it.

More on Free-fi

Glenn Reynolds on the free-fi debate. In particular, I think the following quote is misleading.

"Wireless Internet access is cheap and easy to provide (I have it at home, and so do countless other Americans)..."

There is a flaw in Glenn's logic here. Wi-fi is cheap and easy for a residential connection. But, scale it up to a hot spot and it becomes more costly and complicated. The more populair the hot spot becomes the more strain is going to be put on the pipe. The more strain on the pipe the worse data rates will be. With deteriating data rates, the hot spot looses popularity and it's appeal. Try and sell a business owner on a plan that involves sinking more and more money into it, or become a flash in the pan.

Again and again, I keep coming back to the freenets of the 90's. And I don't see how this will end up any differently. May be if Glenn or Doc or Dave or someone can explain how wi-fi will escape the freenet syndrome I'll be more accepting of the utopian idea. I'd love to get proven wroung on this, but I fail to see the point of getting my hopes up untill this issue is dealt with.

To clarify the point

Joho the Blog: Wifing the Hotels

This post from Dave made me think of a point that I want to make clear regarding the previous post. Wi-Fi in hotels is not Free-fi, since you must first buy a product before being able to use the service. (at least in spirit, let's ignore the hacks for clarity's sake). This is more in line with Doc's "public toilet" analogy, at least around here. And this is a possible fork, but I still think Free-fi will ultimetly be either marginalized or die.

Free-Fi

The Free-fi debate

I'm with LameList on this discussion. And I think Doc's "Think of pay-fi as the Net's equivalent of the pay toilet" analogy does him a disservice.

The only "public" toilets around here that I can think of are either fast food joints, Best Buy/Borders/Home Depot type places and malls. The only one that can be seen as truely public would be the mall, since the stores ask that you buy something, but just don't/can't enforce it. With these exceptions access to the toilet involves making a purchase.

And, I think this is likely going to be the issue with Wi-Fi, you will end up paying some kind of fee to a provider that will allow you to roam around certain areas, similiar the the cell phone industry. Wondering outside of the provider's area will either result in a loss of coverage or being charged a roaming fee.

I think free-fi outside of the grassroots community will be rare and an exception. Yes, you'll see it in and around colleges and tech heavy areas to a certain degree. But, I think over time even that will slip in popularity and be replaced by pay networks when a provider based network gets going.

So, my take-away quote: Free-fi will go the way of freenets.

BTW, I love "free-fi. Its such a fun little word.

R.U. Sirius

Interview with R.U. Sirius.

Sirius has got to be one of my favorite thinkers. Revolution is the first book about politics that made complete sense to me and Sirius was the first person I ever voted for who, I felt, would acctually represent me.

So, go see what he's got to say. And the book sounds cool as well.