April 18, 2003

Reaction to an interview

In an interview with Wilson he talks about authenticity. He also brings this up at the end of his Afghanistan essay. Admitting freely to his romanticism of his time in Central Asia. This had got me to thinking about the idea of appropriation. Especially on a cultural level. As our world finds itself hurdling towards a Disneyfied existence with one global culture. I can't help but wonder what people who are looking for an out will do? Currently, you have the option of turning your back on the corporate culture and, like Wilson does himself, travel off into a pocket of the world that is untouched by the corporate culture. But, as these pockets are destroyed. As the old world dies off, what then? Will people really dive into anthropological tomes to discover what these cultures were really like? Or will they simply adopt portions that they come across, and invent their own versions? New cultures that have been stitched together from scraps of older cultures.

The more I found myself thinking along these lines the more I realized that this is how I have been living my life. I have spent most of my life trying to find somewhere where I belong and can feel at home. In this time I've slipped from one culture to another. But, since I have not found a culture that I could dedicate myself to, I have never been able to learn about authenticity. I've never been around long enough to really get into the specifics. This is sometimes an issue of attention span, other times though it's a matter of teachers. My learning style requires that I be able to discuss matters with people to fully internalize it. I have to be able to bounce ideas off of other people to fully understand, not only the facts, but the implications of those facts. Since the large majority of my explorations have been solitary, I have not had the opportunity to do this crucial step in understanding. The result is that I never really see the culture from the inside. I'm perpetually looking from the outside and trying to understand with out reference.

Obviously, this leads to misunderstandings and miscommunications. In the end, I routinely end up with a view that gets the major issues but misses some of the subtleties of these cultures that I'm looking at. This incomplete understanding leads to the creation of a new culture that exists purely in my head and only contains some similarities to the real cultures that they are based on. Combined with these major concepts, or at least, my interpretation of these major concepts is the little bits and pieces that I've created and slid into the holes. In short, a new creation using pieces of other cultures that I've appropriated.

I used to feel bad about this habit. I would get discouraged because I never seemed to "get it." I am now starting to reassess this idea. Why should I be concerned with authenticity? Why should I be so concerned with making sure that my views are in line with the status quo? Even if the status quo is that of fringe culture? The only problem that could arise is if I confused my interpretations with the real thing. But, I am painfully aware that I do not "get it." If I did, then I'd be a part of that culture, and I've never been apart of any culture. So what stands between me and inventing my own world to live in?

That last line, combined with my theories on subjective reality makes me wonder if I've got a asylum somewhere in my future. I seem to be moving further and further into abandoning consensus reality for a world of my own creation. Will a time come when I stop being able to function outside of my own creation? Posted by Matt at April 18, 2003 02:11 PM